BRACE YOURSELF FOR SOME CORNY WEEKEND JOKES.................they are so corny that you just might not laugh due to sheer disbelief!!

What type of bread does make you think all the time?......................do you give up? Well its WONDER BREAD!!

What thing is fair in name but black in spirit??........................CLEARMONTE LOL LOL (clear monster!!!) 

BABY JOKE #1 - An email started circulating about a boy who owes everyone in his village. The email made the daily news and the boy who knew that he was the topic pf discussion decided that he wanted to find out who wrote the email so he walked down to Bank hall and started counting houses to find out which one was # 13. Lo and behold the boy started knocking on people's houses askng for a Kelly to come out. Now isnt that paranoia?? The person was so paranoid that he started threatening everyone under the sun and ended up in every gossip column because it was factual that he was indeed a fraud and did owe a ton of people. DO YOU LIKE IT!!

MEGA JOKE #2 - An ex-convict who owns a tire repair shop opened for daily businesss. A customer with two friends in tow who had a flat tire drove into this shop seeking assistance but instead the tire repairman began to brag of a highly illegal act that he did which could jeopardise an innocent person's job whom he fed a bag of lies to. When the customer IN FRONT OF WITNESSES asked the tire repair man why he would do such a thing he laughed and ,"I like to destroy & I can't stand that heifer!!". So when the customer asked if he could fix his tire the tire repair man realised he didnt have any spare tires.... he didnt any patches.... he didnt have a jack....he didnt have an air pump and he didnt even have any screw-drivers. The customer sucked his teeth and looked at his surroundings then realised the place was a dump, rotting boards, wood ants crawling all around and rodents and scotch-tape covering the holes in the board. All of a sudden a flamboyant dreadlocked man ran up to the  tire-repair man and clobbered him with a wrench and demaned money that was owed to him and threatened to burn the  dump to the ground with a bottle of kerosine oill he had in a bottle as the tire repairman hid behind a rusting galvanise sheet. Retribution is sweet .................DO YOU LIKE IT!!

UNCOMPREHENSIBLE JOKE #3 - A schizophrenic illiterate man who claims to be in the entertainment agency sent out an email blasting one of his collegues but was not sane enough to sign his name instead he FORGED the name of one of his former employees. When this email circulated around the small community it wasn't forwarded to the collegue who was being castigated so that person had zero idea what was going on. The email went to a local newspaper and a big black bullfrog looking reporter saw this as an opportunity to make a name for herself and proceeded to call the collegue who was being castigated and stated quite emphatically, " I dont care what you said I am printing this story." The reporter did not investigate to find out that the emails she received were forged or that there was no basis to her story.  Well imagine that the college who was castigated in the email recieved a phone -call from the person whose name was signed at the bottom of the email and the person stated EMPHATICALLY that it was not her who sent the email and that she knows who sent it and has started proceedings to put that person in court. Well the attorney who is representing the colleague is a tear-head and is taking the matter straight to the courts. Can you guess what happened to that reporter who implicated her firm in a lawsuit which could have been avoided if she had done her job throroughly? .....................DO YOU LIKE IT!!